Remain; Undivided

Date: 20 July 2025, 9.30 am

Speaker: Ps Luwin Wong Sermon Text: 1 Corinthians 7:17-40

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TRANSCRIPT

It appears that in the calendar of our lives, one day stands above the rest, one day is bigger than the others.

“Congratulations, it’s your big day!”

“Hooray, your big day is finally here!”

“I wish you all the best on your big day!”

By that, of course, we mean, one’s wedding day. That’s your big day.

And for good reason. There are few events in life that are as consuming, as binding, and as transformation than a marriage.

Marriage changes everything: where you live, how you make decisions, how you spend your money, which side of the bed you sleep on, and on some unfortunate occasions, whether you even have a bed to sleep on that night, or whether it has to be the couch. Marriage changes everything, as it should. That’s what marriage does.

It seems that those of us who are single, will have to content ourselves with having regular sized days in our lives.

This upsized view of marriage no doubt has been coloured by the fairy tales we grew up reading, and cherishing. Which somehow always ends, with a princess meeting her prince, getting married to in pomp and pageantry in a palace. And what immediately follows that wedding is the conclusion to the tale, which ends like this:

“And they lived happily ever after”

The married folk are going, “that’s how you know it’s a fairy tale.”

So here’s society’s view of marriage.

1. It is the day that stands above the other days in your life.

2. It is the day that changes everything in your life.

3. And it is the day that brings about your “happily ever after”.

When we come to chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians, however, we find more sober perspective to marriage. Less Disney, more documentary version.

For Paul, the day that stands above the other days in your life, the day that changes everything in your life, the day that brings about your “happily ever after” ending,

Is not your wedding day, but the day you heard Jesus say, do you believe in me? And you said, “I do.”

And we bring this perspective to our text today. That frame of mind, where your Big Day is the day you said Yes to Jesus, is the only way we can understand what Paul is trying to convey to the Corinthians on the question of marriage and singleness.

Before we get into the text proper, shall we pray.

Heavenly Father, Guide us, by your Word and through your Spirit, that in your light we may see light, in your truth find freedom, and in your will discover your peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

What is 1 Cor 7:17-40 about? It’s about Paul offering counsel to his church members, who having recently converted to Christianity, are raising questions about marriage and singleness.

Questions such as, “I’m single, but now that I’m a Christian, am I supposed to pursue marriage?” Or, “I became a Christian, but my wife remains a pagan, should I leave the marriage?” Or “My husband passed away, am I free to re-marry? Or am I supposed to remain single?”

Becoming a Christian means being brought into a new kingdom, submitting to a new Lord, and under obligation to new set of rules. And the young church is trying to figure what are the rules are when it comes to marriage and singleness.

There is one dominant imperative of Paul’s counsel in our passage today.

It opens with this rule:

1 Corinthians 7:17 17 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.

What does he mean?

1 CORINTHIANS 7:20, 24, 26, 40 20 Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.

24 So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.

26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is.

40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is.

Notice this: the repeated refrain of his response is to remain.

The general rule is to remain as you are.

If you came to Christ as a married person, remain married. If you came to Christ as a single, remain single.

You don’t have to change of your marital status just because you changed in spiritual status.

The refrain is to remain.

Why Remain as you are?

Our text gives us three reasons. And one concession.

• Because what is primary is your call to Christ.

• Because what is present is passing away.

• Because what is pleasing is demanding.

  
  

Here’s the concession.

• But what is proper is preferable.

  
  

We’ll look at each of these reasons in turn.

First, because what is primary is your call to Christ. Remain as you are, because what is primary is your call to Christ.

There are some calls in life that relativises all other calls in your life.

The National Service call up for example. It doesn’t matter if you have been called to play for a premier league club. It doesn’t matter if you’re a member of BTS. You drop everything, you shave your head, you put on your uniform, and you serve your country, with my rifle and my buddy and me.

Is one’s wife important? Certainly. Are your children important? Of course. Is your calling as a husband and a father important? Yes.

But when Russia invaded Ukraine, how many good and loving husband and fathers remained behind in Kherson and Donetsk, while their wives and children fled further west? Why? Because some calls, such as the call to defend your country, supersedes and relativises other calls in your life, including marriage and family.

And such, my friends, is the call of Christ.

Luke 9:59-62 59 To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 60 And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” 62 Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Matthew 4:18-24 18 As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” 20 At once they left their nets and followed him. 21 Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, 22 and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.

They left their nets, and they left their boats, dropped everything to answer the call of Christ.

The call of Christ relativises all other calls and circumstances in your life. The call of Christ is primary, everything else becomes secondary. When Christ called you to himself, your newfound status as a Christian supersedes and renders secondary all statuses in your life.

If you were a member of the church in Corinth, apart from your marital status, two of the most important statuses of your life would be your racial-religious status and your socio-economic status.

So Paul addresses both. He says this:

1 Corinthians 7:18-20 18 Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. 19 For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. 20 Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.

He says of circumcision, the premier marker of racial-religious status, that it doesn’t matter. Being circumcised won’t make you better, being uncircumcised won’t make you worse. It doesn’t matter. What matters is your call, your allegiance, your submission to Christ – keeping the commandments of God. And keeping the commandments can be done whether you are circumcised or otherwise.

It doesn’t matter, you don’t have to seek change. Just remain in the condition in which you were called.

He deals with our socio-economic status next.

1 Corinthians 7:21-24 21 Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.)22 For he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men. 24 So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.

Again he says, spiritually speaking, it doesn’t matter whether you are a slave or freedman. Don’t worry about it. If you are a slave, you are a freedman in Christ, if you are a freedman, you are a slave of Christ. It doesn’t matter. You can honor and obey and love Christ, whether you are a slave or free.

Now, to the Corinthians, circumcision was big deal, religiously; and slavery was a big deal, socio-economically. But Paul is asking, “Why is it a big deal?” It really doesn’t matter, as far as your relationship with Christ is concerned, and your relationship with Christ should be your primary concern.

So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God. Remain, you don’t have to change. Your call to Christ is what matters.

But here’s something interesting Paul throws in. ^21b(But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) ²³ You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men.

Here he says, if you are a slave and you can gain your freedom, go for it. And if you are free, don’t become a slave.

I thought these things didn’t matter? Why is he giving these instructions?

Because, while spiritually speaking, it doesn’t matter whether you are slave or free – for a slave is no less a freedman of Christ, as a freedman is a slave of Christ – practically speaking, some things can make a difference. Spiritually speaking, doesn’t matter; practically speaking, some things matter.

How many Christian domestic helpers, for example, are unable to regularly to observe and  celebrate the Lord’s Day in Christian fellowship, because their employers need them around on Sundays? Does that make them less of a Christian? No.

When the apostle John was exiled to the island of Patmos, it didn’t make him any less of a Christian, or an apostle for that matter. It is on that island, isolated from Christian fellowship, where he received encouragement and the glorious Revelation of Jesus Christ.

But regular Christian fellowship, the Lord’s Supper, and joining the saints in singing praise to God, are means of grace, which every Christian ought to avail ourselves of, if we have the opportunity to do so. Practically speaking, it’s better for a Christian to be free rather than enslaved to men.

Now this is important, because practical considerations will dominate Paul’s counsel regarding marriage and singleness our passage today.

And so, it is to practical considerations that we now turn.

The first reason for remaining as we are is because what is primary is our call to Christ.

The second reason for remaining as we are, is because the present world is passing away.Remain, because what is present is passing away.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:25-28 25 Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

Remain as you are, Paul says, in view of the present distress. He is referring to the present age, where Satan holds away, the prince of the air, the “god” of this age. It is difficult time to be a Christian, and Paul says, do you really wish to add to your burden?

Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

He goes on to explain why he takes such a light view of marriage.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:29-31 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it.

For the present form of this world is passing away.

Paul is saying, this present age is tough enough for a Christian as it is. And “the appointed time has grown very short” – that is to say, we are at tail end of God’s redemption plan, we are nearing the conclusion of the story of salvation. The very next scene is the climax and resolution, where Christ will return to judge the world and establish his everlasting kingdom. So let’s live for that day, that coming day, that imminent day, that glorious day.

Let’s live for the new creation, for the everlasting kingdom, for our eternal home. Let’s plant our foot firmly in that permanent world, and tread lightly in this temporal world.

So,

From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it.

For the present form of this world is passing away.

Paul uses three common lived experiences to make his point: Marriage, mourning and rejoicing and business dealings.

Notice, what Paul does not say. He doesn’t say divorce your wives, suppress your emotions, and shutter your businesses. He doesn’t say, go out to the desert and be a monk. That’s not what he’s saying.

He says continue to do all these things, you have wives, you mourn and you rejoice, you conduct business dealings, BUT you treat all these things lightly, you view all these things with an eternal perspective, you don’t allow these things to absorb you or to consume you.

You don’t relate to your spouse as though marriage is everlasting, you don’t mourn and rejoice as though your feelings are all-important, you don’t work and do business as though it is your means of salvation.

Wimbledon concluded last week. Tennis fans might know that above the players’ entrance to the courts of Wimbledon are printed these words:

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same;   

When athletes enter the stadium, and step onto the grass court, their focus is so narrowed in on the match, they are so fixated on the game, they can come to believe that the outcome on the court is all defining. That winning will make them, and losing will break them.

These words, from Rudyard Kipling’s poem serves as a reminder to see through both victory and defeat, and recognise that they are not all that they appear to be. They are deceptive, they are temporal, and they are as not all-defining as they appear on the surface.

These words help put victory and defeat on the court into perspective.

Or, as another example, Bill Shankly, the legendary manager of Liverpool, once said:

“Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.”

But it isn’t, is it? In the end, football is just a game.

Sometimes, we have to take a step back to see the bigger picture. To view the world through the lens of the eternal gospel. And so to put things, even things like marriage and emotions and work into their proper place and perspective. Never allowing them to get too big in our eyes and in our hearts.

Christ alone is the focus and goal of all things, the glory of God is the end for which he created the world – including marriage, and emotions and work. All human experience and activity must reflect this perspective.

This world will pass away. This present age will give way to the eternal kingdom, where Christ will be all in all. So remain, because what is present is passing away.

Third reason, because what is pleasing is demanding.

Remain, because what is pleasing is demanding.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:32-34 32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

Well, I need not say much about this. The married folk know this all too well. Far be it from me, a single, to educate the married in our midst about the anxieties of marriage.

All I know is that when I text my married friends to meet up, it’s never a direct response, “it’s Saturday ah, wah, let me see if can apply off pass”, or “Bro, I let you know, need to check with MHA – Ministry of Home Affairs.”

Our desire to please ourselves is already competing with our desire to please the Lord. And married men, can’t even freely please themselves. They are anxious, rightly so, about how to please their wives.

I was having dinner with some friends, because one of them was getting married in a few days. And so we reminded him, remember Proverbs 32:1, “Happy Wife; Happy Life.” He’s like, nah, it goes both ways. It’s “Happy Spouse; Happy House”. We’re like “Okay bro, good luck.”

There is a counselling prof in Singapore Bible College, who makes his students write a resignation letter to their respective churches and sign it. And he told them, when you go home today, give the letter to your spouse and tell them, “If there ever comes a day, you find that you are no longer on board with my ministry as a pastor, you can submit this letter on my behalf.”

Why? Because as a seasoned counselor, he has seen enough marriages, Christian marriages, torn apart because of pastoral ministry.

The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided.

For if his interests are not divided, his marriage will be.

I don’t wish to belabour this point. But if you want some further reading, an interesting homework, just google “William Carey as a husband”. William Carey is the great pioneer missionary to India. He is regarded as “the father of modern missions”, he was undivided in interest to evangelise the lost. Just google him, not as a missionary, but as a husband and father, and consider, on hindsight, if he should have gotten married at all.

Paul then explains why he’s asking the singles to remain in their singleness. Why he wants them to be free from anxieties about earthly, practical, day-to-day affairs of marriage.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:35 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

He says, it’s not a legal restraint, he’s not introducing a New Testament law. This is neither a moral nor an ethical exhortation, this is just practical, pragmatic pastoral advice. Singleness offers practical benefits, which better serves our undivided devotion to the Lord.

And with that, Paul reminds us of the main point he’s been talking about all this time.

Paul’s main point is that your marital status is completely overshadowed by your allegiance to the Lord. It’s all about keeping your relationship to Jesus the central focus and priority of your life, not allowing the affairs of this passing world – including marriage – to get in the way of you and Jesus.

But just as we do not want the commitment of marriage to impinge upon our devotion to the Lord, we all the more do not want sin to get in the way either.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:36-38 36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

Paul says to the men who are betrothed – that is, engaged, but with legal weight to it – that if they find themselves behaving improperly – premarital sex is in view here – they should marry.

He says something similar in:

1 CORINTHIANS 7:8-9 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry.  For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Paul says, “Let them marry – it is no sin.” But sex outside of marriage is sin. When we are talking about devotion to Christ, we want to prioritise holiness over pragmatism.

In other words, let us first fulfil our moral duties as Christians before delving into the practical benefits of singleness.

When it comes to securing our undivided devotion to the Lord, the pragmatic advantages of singleness cannot overcome the pernicious disadvantages of sinfulness.

Better to be single than married, but better to be married than sinful.

Why? Because all this talk about human relationships is subsumed under our relationship with Christ. It’s ultimately about Christ – the holy one of God.

So remain as you are,

• Because what is primary is your call to Christ.

• Because what is present is passing away.

• Because what is pleasing is difficult.

• But, remember, what is proper is preferable.

  
  

But lest we miss the main imperative, Paul ends with this reminder.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:39-40 39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

Widows are free to re-marry in the Lord, of course in the Lord, every practical aspect of earthly living, every human relationship, is for the Christian, ultimately undertaken for the sake of, and in devotion to, our Lord Jesus Christ. There is no conceivable way in which coupling yourself to a non-believer for life would promote your devotion to Christ. It’s just nonsensical.

So if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

But Paul concludes his counsel on marriage with these words:

40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Paul concludes in the same way he began, with the counsel to singles to: Remain as you are, for your undivided devotion to the Lord. Remain; Undivided.

Right. Now that we have heard Paul’s counsel on the subject, let me say this: Paul’s exhortation only makes sense if our relationship with Christ is indeed central in our lives. Following Paul’s advice is only meaningful if our call to Christ is truly the primary call in our lives.

Otherwise, Paul’s pastoral wisdom will sound like personal folly to you.

If you’re a single, you might ask Paul, why should I remain in my singleness if it makes me lonely and unhappy? If you’re married, you might ask, why should I remain in my marriage if it makes me frustrated and miserable?

And you might both say, isn’t the wiser thing to do to follow my heart and pursue what makes me happy?

And Paul would say, yes, but the happiness we seek cannot be found in either the freedom of singleness or the covenant of marriage – if happiness is to be found, it must be found in Christ, and Christ alone, and nowhere else but Christ alone.

If you are married, let’s be real: your spouse, however loving, however lovely, cannot ultimately bear the weight of your dreams and happiness. Their heart, however big, cannot finally fill the void that is in your soul. Demand your happiness from them, and you will find yourself destroyed from disappointment, and you will drain them to the point of despair.

Your spouse cannot truly satisfy the longing of your heart. Only Christ is able. And friends, Christ is willing. He says to the woman at the well, who has had 5 different men, he says, “it is not the sixth man that will finally satisfy you – it is me, the giver of living water, who will finally quench the thirst of your soul.”

Your relationship with Christ is the relationship that will sustain and enrich all other relationships in your life. His call, his invitation to himself, is the primary source of your joy, and so warrants the undivided devotion of your heart.

And if you are single, know that your loneliness is not cured simply by being next to someone, but by having somebody truly seeing you, truly knowing you and truly loving you. And there is not a person on earth who can do that like Jesus can. He sees your darkest sins, and he accepts you. He knows your deepest needs, and he meets them. He loves you to the point of death and promises he always will. You have that relationship today, even in your singleness.

Your big day arrived when Jesus asked you if you believed in him as your Lord and Saviour, and you said, “I do.”

And there will come a greater day, a bigger day, a glorious day, where Christ will return for his bride – all of us who responded to his call – he will establish our eternal home in the New Creation, we will have a wedding banquet, and we shall dwell with him forever. And in that perfect gospel ending, we will have our happily ever after. Amen.

So remain, undivided in your devotion to Christ.

Reflection Questions: 

1. Our call to be in Christ is primary. So how can you grow in contentment and devotion to Christ in your state of marriage or singleness today?

   
   

2. How could this passage shape our prayers and conversations for ourselves and others who are wrestling with the issue of singleness and marriage?

   
   

3. How might our decision making be different if we lived not for this present age that is passing away, but for the eternal kingdom of God?