Glorifying God in Marriage and Singlehood

Date: 29 June 2025, 9.30 am

Speaker: Ps Daniel Tan Sermon Text: 1 Corinthians 7:1-16

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TRANSCRIPT

Introduction

Blessed Sunday everyone.

Time has flown by, we are at the end of June, the first half of the year as passed.

We are also coming to the halfway mark of our journey through 1 Corinthians.

Today, we start on the 7th chapter of the 16 chapters that 1 Corinthians has.

Since chapter 5, the topic of sexual immorality has been a key focus. And the temple of Aphrodite in Corinth would be a symbol of that.

The Greek goddess Aphrodite was the goddess of love, beauty, and sexuality.

Corinth was known for its wealth, luxury, and uninhibited pleasures, with the Temple of Aphrodite playing a significant role in this reputation. 

The temple was associated with priestesses who engaged in temple prostitution or sacred sexuality.

How about Singapore today? We don’t have the temple of Aphrodite, but I think we are not too far behind in terms of uninhibited pleasures.

Have you heard of the term ‘friends with benefits’? It means friends whom you can be sexually involved with, but don't consider their relationship to be romantic. It’s just sex, no strings attach.

There is a website Swingers Singapore whereby this concept is executed. If I’m not wrong, it started for couples to meet other couples and have causal sex.

From their website, I see that now even singles can join in as well.

In 2024, a man, was given 29 years in jail and 24 strokes of the cane for inviting other men to rape his wife as he watched.

According to the newspaper report, most of the men got to know one another on the online forum and other platforms where people talked about exchanging sexual partners.

They discussed wife-sharing fantasies in private and group chats, and also exchanged details of their sex lives and shared explicit images or videos of their wives or partners with one another.

What about in the church?

In an article in 2020, it was noted that a Barna study discovered that half of pastors and more than half of youth pastors struggle with porn, either currently or in the past.

Since this is a western study, these pastors can be male or female. Yes, pornography is no longer exclusively the domain of males.

A young adult from Hermon, told me more than 10 years ago, at that time he was in the university.

He said, it is actually hard to find dating couples who have not had sex and this includes both Christian and non-Christian couples.

We in Singapore are not too far behind the Corinthian culture, aren’t we?

Church, if we are to take heed of what we will receive from 1 Corinthian 7, it will be as shocking to us as it was for them.  

But Paul exhorts them and us also, glorify God in your marriage and in your singlehood. And I submit we glorify God through the 4 sub-headings found in the sermon outline.

Sexually Healthy in Marriage (v1-5)

Paul says, to glorify God in your marriage, to guard against the culture of sexual immorality, it is to be sexually healthy in your marriage.

Basically saying have a great sex life.

1 Cor 7 begins with this phase ‘now concerning the matters about which you wrote’. This means that Paul is responding to a query they have raised.

1 Cor 7:1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

This phase ‘now concerning this’ will reappear as Paul addresses idolatry in chapter 8, spiritual gifts in chapter 12 and the collection for the saints in chapter 16.

So in 1 Cor 7, what was their query? It’s what is found in quotation marks – “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman”.

Why would such a question be asked? Apparently, there was an extreme response to the rampant sexual immorality.

There were those in the church who felt they should swing instead to abstinence.

That there should complete celibacy even within married couples.  No sex even within the marriage.

So Paul, wants to point out the holy middle ground. No sexual immorality like the society but not celibacy either.

No, within marriage, have a healthy sex life.

It is significant to note that Paul emphasizes mutuality in marriage. This is significant in a patriarchal society. Paul takes the effort to address both the husband and the wife.

Paul elevates the ladies in the congregation. They are on par with their husbands. They are addressed directly as well.

The well-being of the marriage does not depend only on the husband, the wife has an equal responsibility as well.

I mentioned earlier that Paul is advocating the holy middle. He is addressing this because he knows that the right understanding about sex in marriage will lead to holiness in marriage.

This is emphasized in v2 and v5. Sexual faithfulness will guard against sexual immorality and that is not giving Satan a foothold in your marriage.

Married couples, your sex life is a battleground with Satan.

Scripture warns, be on your guard, for Satan will use it to destroy your worship of God and your witness for Him.

I submit 1 Corinthians emphasizes also the issue of ownership. Who owns our bodies?

Last week, 1 Cor 6:19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

We belong to God. We are not the masters of our own body, no, God is.

Now in v4, God tells us, not only is He our master, in marriage our spouses also have claims on our bodies.

This is again very significant in a patriarchal society - husbands, your wife has claims over you physically.

May I add that now in the 21st century, due to the feminist movement, it is significant in a different way, - wives, you are not the sole authority of your body, no, your husband has claims to it as well.

So to glorify God in our bodies, it means we flee sexuality immorality – no sex outside of marriage, but instead we have healthy sex within marriage.

We are Scripture says, to use our bodies in service of our spouse.

And that leads to the obligations in marriage. In v3 both the husband and the wife are to give the other their ‘conjugal rights’.

Conjugal means obligations. Rights means what is rightfully due to the other person.

It is our spouses’ right that we use our bodies in service of them.

Sex is not personal pleasure. No, it is to give pleasure to your spouse.

And so, v5 says, do not deprive one another of sexual pleasure. The word deprive is from the same root word as to rob, steal, deny or defraud.

Remember that was what they were doing to each other when they went to the law courts (1 Cor 6:8)

So our spouse’s right is that we serve them with our bodies. And when we don’t we are defrauding them.  

May I submit 3 implications for all married couples this morning.

Firstly, healthy sex in your marriage is for your protection – protection against immorality.  Take it as a spiritual discipline for your marriage.

Grandparents, Singles, can we step in to support our younger couples in this area? Take care of the kids so that they can go for a staycation.

Secondly healthy sex in marriage is serving your spouse. Sex is not self-pleasure. No, sex is giving pleasure to your spouse. This thus flies against the notion of pleasuring oneself.

Do you know that there is 1 book in the bible, the Songs of Solomon. And it speaks explicitly of the pleasures of love-making.

God intends that in this one flesh union, we give pleasure to our significant other when we are intimate. And this goes against our innate instinct for we always want to satisfy ourselves.

Finally, abstinence from sex is to boost your prayer life. It is likened to fasting from food. Yes, when you fast, it will help you be more focus. And there will be times when a couple needs to spend extended time in prayer. But there is a limit to this abstinence.

Remember as food is necessary for survival, so is healthy sex for your marriage.

Embracing God’s Gift (v6-9)

As Christians, we believe that God has created 2 genders – male and female. God has also so designed that there will be 2 types of status – married or single.

Both male and female are equal before God. And both married and singlehood are gifts from the Lord.

1 Cor 7:6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

V6 is a link verse. I submit the concession here that Paul is talking about refers both to v5 as well as to v7.

That means, abstinence from sex in a marriage is a concession and that being single is not a command as well.

The important emphasis here is that both are a gift from God.

And what does that mean?

Firstly, since it is from God, we in a sense don’t get to choose. We learn to receive it with gladness.

Secondly, since God knows us so perfectly and that His gifts are pure and spot on, we hold on to it with gratitude.

A pastor once said that marriage is like a walled city. To those outside, the singles, it is like a fortress, you are fighting so hard to enter.

To those inside, it is like a prison. You are fighting so hard to get out.

Do you see your status as a gift or like the high walls that are keeping you from crossing over?  

May I commend today’s editorial for your reading. Dn Samuel has given us some helpful insights as well as application pointers.

For many of us, we might be single now, married for a time and then single again.

Would in every stage, we see it as a gift from God?

Now, the word ‘Gift’ has the same root word as grace.

That means, as He has gifted us with our status, God will also give His grace to enable us to flourish in it.

I submit that we need to see v7 and v17 in complement with each other.

1 Cor 7:7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another ….17 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him.

Ours status is our gift and thus also our calling. So we have to ask, since my current state is God’s calling for me now, how can I best glorify God either as a married person or as a single.

Paul will go on to elaborate on the gift of singleness in the 2nd half of 1 Cor 7.

Specifically, here, the thrust of glorify God is about being holy in our current state. And that is where self-control comes in.

I’m sure we are all aware that self-control is the fruit of the Spirit. And sexual immorality is the fruit of no self-control.

So to the unmarried and the widows, sexual purity is very important. Chastity in singleness and faithfulness in marriage.

It’s either one or the other.

For those who are single, would you embrace this season as God’s gift to you? And if you do struggle in your singleness, know that God has provide the faith family to journey with you.  

For us as a church, let’s support both the married and the singles. Let’s by our actions not convey that one is superior than the other. Both are needed in the body of Christ.

Fidelity for the Married (v10-11)

For all of us who are married, we glorify God in our marriages when we are sexually healthy and when there is fidelity.  

1 Cor 7:10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Why is there a need for fidelity?

Because it has already been taught by Jesus – v10 says, not I but the Lord.

Paul upholds Jesus’ words on the sacredness of marriage.

Mk 10:11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

The Corinthians were not only sexually promiscuous, they were also flippant about marriage and so divorce was common.

In God’s eyes, however, divorce is not the intended next course of action after marriage. Marriage is to be till death do us part.

In Singapore, there is 1 divorce for every 4 marriages. And in Singapore, divorce peaks around the 5 to 10th year. And adultery is one of the top 3 reasons for divorce.  

Earlier I mentioned the comment about how pre-marital sex is common in both Christian and non-Christian couples.

For divorce it is also quite similar. The number of Christian divorces is not significantly lower than non-Christian ones.

But it should be much lower right?

And as we have noted, God has already provided the antidote for the ills of adultery – we are to be sexually healthy.  

Because of the hardness of our hearts, God has very reluctantly permitted for divorce due to adultery.

God has also allowed a second reason and we will see it in the next segment.

So, following the explicit teachings of Jesus, these are the only 2 reasons in which divorce is permissible in Hermon as well.

Regarding adultery, Jesus says in Matthew 5 - Mt 5:27  “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

This is where pornography and sexting become so dangerous. For in those activities, Matthew 5:28 is fulfilled.

So if there are only 2 reasons for divorce, then what is the implication here?

It means in all other situations, divorce should not be considered.  

It means in cases of drug addition, abuse, gambling, alcoholism, separation might be necessary but divorce should not be an option.

And all the time, the separate couple need to work towards reconciliation.

Of course in all the cases, it must be preceded by the successful rehabilitation from the key issues that led to the breakdown in the first place.

Church, our marriages vows are made between the couple in the present of God and the faith community.

Church, it is our duty then to provide that sacred protection for one another’s marriage. All of us are involved in this, both the married and the singles.

As it takes a village to raise a child, it also takes a village to uphold a marriage.   

 

Graciousness for the Mix-married (v12-16)

Only 2 biblical reasons for permitting divorce. One is adultery and the other is in this passage.

Here in this situation, it is when an unbelieving spouse walks away from the marriage.

Because Jesus never addressed this situation directly, thus Paul says (I, not the Lord).

1 Cor 7:12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

It does not mean that it is just a suggestion. No, Paul is the Spirit-inspired author of 1 Corinthians and so his words are authoritative.

In the context of the Corinthians, like Singapore, it is not a Christian nation. So many become believers after they have been married.

Here is the issue of when one person in the marriage becomes a believer.

Remember there was this group who have been advocating abstinence from sex in marriage. They thought that was being more spiritual.

I submit that here too, they have been promoting the view that if you become a believer, you cannot continue to be in a mix-marriage with a non-believer.

So Paul is countering this argument. No, as a believer, do not seek a divorce.

No, it is not correct that in this situation, a sexual union between a believer and a non-believer is unholy.

Instead, Paul encourages, tap on God’s grace and strength to stay in the marriage.

As an aside, as believers this is not the verse to support you dating a non-believer and marrying them. Nowhere in the bible does it say, believers can marry non-believers.

In fact, further down in 1 Cor 7, it says -

1 Cor 7:39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

Back to v14, Paul says, the unbelieving spouse and your children are made holy.

Here holiness is not equal to Salvation. There is no such thing as Salvation via association.

Instead, what it implies is that the behaviour, values and Christ-inspired love of the Christian will be likely to have its effect in the marriage.

The unbelieving spouse and the children are in a privileged position. They get to witness the Holy Spirit’s presence transforming the believer at close quarters.

In a sense it’s like children of believing parents. They will grow up in a spiritual nurturing environment and one day, by the grace of God, they will have a personal relationship with Jesus.

There are many examples in our midst of how God converts one Christian in the family and subsequently, this first Christian introduces Christ to the rest of the family.

This is the sense of what it means to be made holy here. This is how God is graciously touching the family.

Yet we know that when Christ is your Lord and Saviour, there will be a completely different alignment in focus and in priorities.

Because of that, it is also very possible that the unbeliever will say to the believer, you are a totally different person.

I did not sign up for this. I cannot accept what has happen. I want out.

This is where, as the believing spouse, God says, you are allowed to show grace to our unbelieving spouse. Allow him or her to leave the marriage because of the incompatibilities due to your faith.  

Paul then ends with a sense of optimism in v16. He encourages, stay in the marriage, for there will always be a possibility that the unbeliever will be saved.

To the believer in this mix-marriage – don’t lose heart. Your faithful witness matters.

Today, if you are in such a situation, may I encourage you to lean on the church for support. Don’t bear this load alone.

For the church, we will glorify God when we support our fellow siblings who are in such marriages.

Let’s do our part to support in practical ways. Let’s build bridges to the yet-believing spouses of our siblings-in-Christ.

Conclusion

Church, 1 Cor 7:1-16 is not about rules for morality, no, it is instead a vision of the Christian life rooted in Gospel grace and self-denial.

It is a call to holiness in whatever status we are in – married, single or mix-marriage.

It is a call to glorify God by honouring our bodies, our relationships and our commitment.

Jesus Christ is our supreme example. He is the true bridegroom who laid down His life to redeem His bride - the church. The church that is made up of believers like you and I.

Christ now dwells in us by His Spirit and the power that raise Jesus from the dead is also available to us so that we may live faithfully in our calling, be it as married or as singles.

May Hermon/ Horeb reflect this redeeming love, living not like the rest of society but with Gospel-centred lives of holiness.

And in so doing, glorify God who has given each of us, our calling.

Reflection Questions

• To those who are single – how does this passage encourage you in your walk with God in this season of life?

• To those who are married – how can this passage encourage you to honour your spouse while glorifying God at the same time?

• Share with a fellow church member, how you can be part of the church support of her members in the Christian aspect of singleness and marriage.